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Is Your Partner Manipulating You? Quiz

Instructions: For each question, choose the option that best describes your relationship.

How often does your partner criticize you?

Almost never

Occasionally

Often

All the time

Do you feel like you have to hide things from your partner?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

All the time

How often does your partner make you feel guilty?

Almost never

Occasionally

Often

Always

Does your partner frequently remind you of your past mistakes?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

All the time

How does your partner react when you disagree with them?

They respect my viewpoint

They’re slightly upset but we discuss it

They get angry and defensive

They shut me out or punish me

Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

All the time

Does your partner make decisions without consulting you?

No, never

Occasionally

Often

Always

How often does your partner belittle or mock you?

Almost never

Occasionally

Often

All the time

Do you feel valued and respected in the relationship?

Always

Mostly

Rarely

Never

Does your partner use threats (subtle or overt) to control you?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

All the time

Do you feel isolated from friends and family due to your partner?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

Always

Does your partner blame you for their negative emotions or actions?

No, never

Occasionally

Often

Always

How often does your partner make you feel like you’re overreacting or too sensitive?

Almost never

Occasionally

Often

All the time

Does your partner make you feel like you owe them?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

Always

How often does your partner invalidate your feelings or opinions?

Almost never

Occasionally

Often

All the time

Do you find yourself justifying your partner’s actions to yourself or others?

No, never

Rarely

Often

Always

Does your partner frequently make “jokes” at your expense?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

All the time

How often does your partner show genuine interest in your day or your feelings?

Always

Most of the time

Rarely

Never

Does your partner compare you to others in a negative way?

No, never

Rarely

Sometimes

Always

Do you feel free to pursue personal interests without fear of retaliation or guilt trips from your partner?

Always

Mostly

Rarely

Never

No Manipulation

Interpretation: Your relationship appears to be built on mutual respect and understanding. This means that both you and your partner value each other’s boundaries, feelings, and thoughts. You likely have a foundation where open communication is encouraged, and any disagreements or issues are addressed in a constructive manner. Your relationship probably fosters growth and understanding, allowing both partners to feel secure, loved, and valued.

Recommendation: Continue to nourish this environment by actively engaging in relationship-building activities, regular check-ins, and ensuring both parties feel heard and validated.

Book Recommendations for improving your relationship further:

1. “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman

2. “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by Dr. Sue Johnson

3. “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by Dr. John M. Gottman and Nan Silver

Note: This questionnaire is for general awareness only. If you are in any way unsure or unsafe, it’s crucial to seek guidance from professionals or trusted individuals in your life.

Low Manipuation

Interpretation: There might be some occasions where one feels undervalued, unheard, or pressured. These instances can be subtle and may not necessarily indicate a harmful pattern yet. However, even infrequent manipulative behaviors can escalate over time if not addressed. It’s essential to recognize and address these early signs to ensure that the relationship remains on a healthy path.

Recommendation: Consider having open conversations about any discomforts and setting clear boundaries. Engaging in couples therapy or relationship workshops might also be beneficial to strengthen communication.

Book Recommendations for improving your relationship further:

1. “Boundaries in Relationships: Understanding the Choices that Make or Break Loving Relationships” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

2. “Love Is Respect: Building a Healthy Relationship” by Aimee Horowitz

3. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love” by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Note: This questionnaire is for general awareness only. If you are in any way unsure or unsafe, it’s crucial to seek guidance from professionals or trusted individuals in your life.

Medium Manipulation

Interpretation: A score in this range suggests a pattern of manipulative behaviors that is becoming more pronounced. Such behaviors might involve guilt-tripping, emotional withholding, subtle threats, or constant invalidation. These patterns can harm the well-being of the person on the receiving end and can erode the trust and safety essential for a thriving relationship.

Recommendation: It’s crucial to not brush these signs under the rug. Seeking therapeutic intervention or counseling can be beneficial to address and navigate these behaviors. One should also consider building a support system outside of the relationship to ensure clarity and well-being.

Book Recommendations for understanding and dealing with this situation:

1. “Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You” by Patricia Evans

2. “In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People” by George K. Simon

3. “Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life” by Harriet B. Braiker

Note: This questionnaire is for general awareness only. If you are in any way unsure or unsafe, it’s crucial to seek guidance from professionals or trusted individuals in your life.

High Manipulation

Interpretation: This score indicates strong and consistent manipulative behaviors. These behaviors can be emotionally, psychologically, and even physically damaging. Relationships with such dynamics can often make the individual feel trapped, fearful, or constantly on edge. It’s essential to recognize that such dynamics are not conducive to a healthy relationship and can have long-term detrimental effects on mental and emotional health.

Recommendation: It is crucial to prioritize personal safety and well-being. One might need to consider seeking external help, either through professional counseling or by reaching out to trusted friends, family, or authorities. Support groups or organizations focusing on abusive relationships can also provide guidance and resources.

Book Recommendations for understanding and dealing with this situation:

1. “Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men” by Lundy Bancroft

2. “The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond” by Patricia Evans

3. “The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships” by Patrick J Carnes

Note: This questionnaire is for general awareness only. If you are in any way unsure or unsafe, it’s crucial to seek guidance from professionals or trusted individuals in your life.

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