Am I In Love? Discover If You’re Truly in Love or Just Infatuated
The question “Am I in love?” has puzzled hearts for centuries, and modern psychology offers fascinating insights into how genuine love differs from intense infatuation. Research shows that true love develops over time and involves deep empathy, genuine care for your partner’s wellbeing, and a desire to build a future together. In contrast, infatuation tends to be intense but superficial, focused more on fantasy than reality.
According to relationship experts, genuine love is characterized by growing empathy (you feel their emotions deeply), consistent care (their happiness becomes important to your happiness), future focus (you naturally include them in long-term plans), and authentic connection (you love them for who they really are, not who you imagine they could be). Love also tends to feel more stable and secure than the rollercoaster emotions of infatuation.
How This Love Assessment Quiz Works
Answer 15 questions about your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors regarding someone special in your life. Think honestly about your genuine emotions and reactions — not what you think love “should” look like. This quiz will help you distinguish between deep love, infatuation, strong attraction, or caring friendship.
When you think about this person, your primary focus is:
Their overall happiness and wellbeing in life
How much you enjoy spending time together
How attractive and exciting they are
Whether they're interested in you romantically
How do you feel when they’re going through a difficult time?
Deeply empathetic — their pain genuinely hurts you
Concerned and wanting to help them feel better
Sympathetic but primarily focused on your own feelings
Uncomfortable because it affects your mood
When you imagine your future, this person:
Is naturally and consistently included in your long-term plans
Features prominently in your hopes for the near future
Appears in romantic fantasies but not practical plans
Is someone you hope will want to be with you
Your attraction to them is based on:
Who they really are as a complete person
Their personality, values, and how they treat others
Their most appealing qualities and potential
Their physical attractiveness and surface characteristics
When they have different opinions or preferences than you:
You respect their perspective and want to understand it
You find their unique viewpoint interesting
You hope they'll come around to your way of thinking
You feel disappointed they're not more compatible
How do you feel about their flaws and imperfections?
You accept them completely as part of who they are
You love them despite their imperfections
You overlook them because of their good qualities
You hope they'll change or improve over time
Your emotional state regarding this relationship is:
Generally peaceful with moments of joy
Happy and content most of the time
Exciting but sometimes anxious or uncertain
Intense highs and lows depending on their attention
When you’re apart from them, you:
Miss them but maintain your own life and interests
Look forward to seeing them again
Think about them frequently throughout the day
Feel incomplete or anxious without their presence
What motivates your desire to be with them?
You genuinely enjoy their company and feel comfortable being yourself
They bring out the best in you and make you happy
They're exciting and make you feel special
You feel validated and attractive when they pay attention to you
How do you handle their successes and achievements?
You feel genuinely proud and happy for them
You celebrate their wins and support their goals
You're happy but sometimes wish you were more included
You feel insecure or worry about being left behind
Your physical and romantic desire for them:
Is part of a deeper emotional and spiritual connection
Flows naturally from your emotional bond
Is intense and a major focus of your feelings
Is the primary driver of your interest in them
When you imagine them with someone else, you feel:
Sad but ultimately want their happiness, even if it's not with you
Disappointed but accepting if that's what they choose
Jealous and hurt by the thought
Devastated and unable to accept that possibility
How well do you actually know them as a person?
Very well — you know their real thoughts, fears, dreams, and daily life
Well — you understand their personality, values, and background
Somewhat — you know their appealing qualities but not their full depth
Superficially — you're attracted to who you think they are
Your feelings for them have:
Grown deeper and more stable over time
Developed gradually as you've gotten to know them better
Been intense from early on but fluctuate
Hit you like lightning and remained consistently intense
What do you most want for them in life?
Whatever will make them truly happy and fulfilled
Success, health, and meaningful relationships
A wonderful life that hopefully includes you
To choose you and build a life together
Deep, Genuine Love
You’re Experiencing: True Love
Your responses indicate genuine, mature love — the kind that forms the foundation of lasting relationships. You care deeply about this person’s wellbeing, accept them completely as they are, and naturally include them in your future. Your love is based on knowing them authentically, not on fantasy or projection.
Signs of Genuine Love in Your Responses
- Deep empathy and genuine care for their happiness and wellbeing
- Acceptance of their flaws and love for who they truly are
- Natural inclusion of them in your long-term life plans
- Emotional stability and contentment in the relationship
What This Means
- You’ve moved beyond infatuation to mature love
- Your relationship has a strong foundation for longevity
- You love them for authentic reasons, not idealized projections
- You’re capable of selfless love that prioritizes their happiness
Moving Forward
If this love is mutual, you have the ingredients for a deeply fulfilling partnership. Continue nurturing this genuine connection while maintaining your own identity and growth. If the feelings aren’t reciprocated, your capacity for deep love will serve you well in future relationships.
Build the communication skills that strengthen loving relationships. Communication Secrets of Great Leaders and CEOs by Daniel Bulmez teaches you how to express your feelings clearly and build deeper emotional connections.
Strong Romantic Feelings
You’re Experiencing: Deep Romantic Connection
You have strong, genuine romantic feelings that could be love or are developing into love. You care about this person beyond surface attraction and are building a connection based on real knowledge of who they are. Your feelings have depth and stability, though they may still be growing.
Your Romantic Connection Shows
- Genuine care for their wellbeing and happiness
- Growing emotional connection and empathy
- Attraction based on personality and character, not just appearance
- Realistic view of them including both strengths and imperfections
What This Suggests
- You’re developing or have developed deep romantic feelings
- Your connection is based on authentic knowledge of each other
- You have potential for lasting love if feelings continue to grow
- You’re approaching relationships with emotional maturity
Next Steps
Pay attention to how your feelings evolve over time. True love typically deepens as you know someone better, while infatuation often fades. Continue building genuine emotional intimacy and honest communication. Whether this develops into lasting love depends on mutual compatibility and shared commitment to growth.
Master the communication that builds lasting romantic connections. Communication Secrets of Great Leaders and CEOs by Daniel Bulmez shows you how to express feelings authentically and build emotional intimacy.
Intense Attraction/Infatuation
You’re Experiencing: Strong Infatuation
Your feelings appear to be intense infatuation rather than mature love. While your emotions are real and powerful, they’re primarily based on attraction, excitement, and projection rather than deep knowledge and acceptance of who this person truly is. This doesn’t diminish your experience — infatuation can be beautiful and meaningful.
Signs of Infatuation in Your Responses
- Intense emotions that fluctuate based on their attention
- Focus on their appealing qualities rather than complete acceptance
- Romantic feelings based more on potential than reality
- Emotional highs and lows rather than stable contentment
Understanding Infatuation
- Infatuation is normal and can be the beginning of love
- It’s often based on fantasy and idealization
- It tends to be intense but may not have lasting power
- It can evolve into love as you know the person better
What to Consider
Take time to really get to know this person beyond the excitement and attraction. True love grows from understanding, accepting, and caring for someone as they truly are. If your feelings are genuine and this person is worth knowing, invest in building a real connection based on authentic interaction, not just romantic fantasy.
Learn how to build relationships based on authentic connection rather than infatuation. Communication Secrets of Great Leaders and CEOs by Daniel Bulmez teaches you communication skills that create real intimacy and understanding.
Attraction or Crush
You’re Experiencing: Strong Attraction or Crush
Your responses suggest you have a crush or strong attraction rather than deep romantic love. Your feelings are focused on how this person makes you feel about yourself and their appealing qualities, rather than genuine care for who they are as a complete person. This is completely normal and can be enjoyable in its own right.
Characteristics of Your Attraction
- Focus on their attractive qualities and how they make you feel
- Limited deep knowledge of their authentic self
- Emotions tied to their attention and validation
- Interest based on appeal rather than compatibility
Understanding Attraction vs. Love
- Attraction focuses on what someone does for you
- Love focuses on caring for who they truly are
- Crushes are often based on limited real interaction
- Love develops through genuine knowledge and acceptance
Moving Forward
Enjoy the excitement of attraction while being realistic about what it is. If you want to explore deeper connection, focus on getting to know this person authentically — their thoughts, values, flaws, and dreams. Real love can only develop when you know and accept someone completely, not just their appealing surface qualities.
Develop the communication skills that turn attraction into meaningful connection. Communication Secrets of Great Leaders and CEOs by Daniel Bulmez shows you how to build authentic relationships that go beyond surface attraction.
Take More Quizzes
Want to explore more aspects of love, relationships, and personal connections?
- Love Language Quiz — Discover your primary way of giving and receiving love.
- Attachment Style Quiz — Understand your patterns in close relationships.
- Communication Style Quiz — Learn how you naturally express yourself in relationships.
- Self-Confidence Quiz — Assess your confidence in romantic situations.
- Assertiveness Quiz — Find out if you stand up for yourself in relationships.
- Manipulation Test — Identify if someone in your life is using manipulative tactics.
Frequently Asked Questions
What’s the difference between love and infatuation?
Love is based on deep knowledge, acceptance, and genuine care for someone’s wellbeing, while infatuation is typically intense but superficial attraction. Love grows over time as you know someone better, includes accepting their flaws, and prioritizes their happiness. Infatuation is often based on fantasy, idealization, and how someone makes you feel about yourself rather than genuine care for who they really are.
How long does it take to know if you’re really in love?
There’s no set timeline, but genuine love typically develops over months rather than days or weeks. Research suggests it takes time to move beyond initial attraction and infatuation to truly know and accept someone completely. Many relationship experts suggest that feelings experienced in the first few months are more likely to be infatuation, while love that develops after 6+ months of really knowing someone tends to be more stable and lasting.
Can infatuation turn into real love?
Yes, infatuation can evolve into genuine love as you get to know the person better. The key is whether your feelings deepen and stabilize as you learn about their authentic self — including their flaws and imperfections — or whether they fade when reality replaces fantasy. True love accepts the whole person, while infatuation often diminishes when idealization is replaced by realistic knowledge.
